i just google imaged poop.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
