Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
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