The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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