so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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