I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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