she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
