im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
