we're chasing vodka with high fives
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
