Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
