i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
