My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I am naked and annoyed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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