lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
