We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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