i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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