I think my fart just growled at me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
