PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I've blown a few things in my day
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
