OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Randomize
