I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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