Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm really busy with my period
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