Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
