I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
