Swine flu. Run for my life!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
