omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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