So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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