Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
