I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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