fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
