Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
