Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
