If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
