I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
