Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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