Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
is that a dick in a sweater?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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