I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Randomize
