I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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