Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
