just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
