im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
