nut hugger
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
