He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
