I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He passed out mid-signature
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
