that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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