scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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