So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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