some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Can I color on your dick again?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
