woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
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