Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
