I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
