This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
