my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
