At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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