I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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