you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That accounts for only three of the penises
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
