i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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