sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i was born a porn star she said
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize