So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
