Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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