What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This is the high leading the old right now
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize