Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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