By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
