i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
