another moral hangover. fuck.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
