I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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