i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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