I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
