wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
