when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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