just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
