you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
