I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I FOUND THE LEGS
you made out with another girl for some wings
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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