my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize