how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
